Once Upon A Time
On the rare occasion that I get writer’s block, one of the things I use to get the words rolling again is “Once upon a time.”
“Once upon a time,” I’ll think. I’ll look around the room and spot, perhaps, my DVD player. “Once upon a time a guy sat down to watch a DVD.”
What DVD?
“Okay, it was Cannibal Holocaust. Jim wasn’t really into gore movies, but he’d lost a bet with a friend about whether or not he could devour an entire watermelon in one sitting, so there he was.”
Then what?
“Well, he decided he needed some liquid courage to watch the hideously violent film (he really didn’t like gory films). When he went to the refrigerator, the beer was gone.”
Why? Who drank it? Him?
“No, the beer was one of six twelve packs polished off at the poker party the evening before. The poker party, by the way, was something Jim and his friends had put together a year before. Instead of playing for money, they put a ‘Fear Factor’ spin on it. Hence the watermelon, hence Cannibal Holocaust. Hence no beer. Jim decided he’d have to go buy some, so he went to the store.”
In what? A car, a truck a van?
“Beat up ten-speed bicycle. He lost the car a few months earlier in a similar poker game. (Yes, Jim has a gambling problem.) So he takes off on his ten speed, to buy some beer. It’s the middle of the night, but the 7-11 isn’t far. However, just as he’s about to turn off his street, he hears a blood curdling scream and a naked woman bursts out of the house on the corner and races across the lawn. A man runs after her, wielding a hatchet…”
And so on. It’s a silly exercise, but it almost never fails. The key is to try and go left when you’d normally go right. Lots of sudden ninety-degree angles and improbability. I swear, it’s like WD 40 for the mind.
Of course, we never get to find out what happened to Jim. Did he save the girl? Did he shrug and cycle on? If we want to get complex about it, maybe this is what happens:
“Jim leaps off his bike and gives chase to the man with the hatchet, but gets there too late to save the girl. The hatchet gets buried in her skull twice before Jim manages to tackle the bad guy. A brutal fight ensues, a violent, desperate, knock-down drag-out . Jim is at the losing end, being strangled to death, when his grasping hand finds the handle of the hatchet. He grips it hard, yanks it out of the poor girl’s head, and chops at the bad guy, again and again, lost in his own hysteria, fury, and desperation. When the police arrive, they find him there, hatchet in hand, wild-eyed, standing above two dead bodies.
The cops, of course, end up assuming he was the original assailant, and he is arrested. No evidence to the contrary is found, and Jim goes to death row – all because he went out to buy some beer. He never does get to watch Cannibal Holocaust. He never gambles again.”
Try it sometime. Give yourself a license to imagine the ridiculous or the strange or whatever, without censor, and see if helps.
A final one, in honor of it being Halloween:
Once upon a time, two kids came to my door for Halloween Candy. They came alone, and they were never seen again. The very next day, the dirt in the crawl space of my basement was freshly turned, so freshly turned.
Are these two things related?
I don’t know. I truly don’t. I can’t remember.
But my fingernails are dirty, so dirty, and I am… I am…
So happy.
Happy Halloween and happy reading.
“Once upon a time,” I’ll think. I’ll look around the room and spot, perhaps, my DVD player. “Once upon a time a guy sat down to watch a DVD.”
What DVD?
“Okay, it was Cannibal Holocaust. Jim wasn’t really into gore movies, but he’d lost a bet with a friend about whether or not he could devour an entire watermelon in one sitting, so there he was.”
Then what?
“Well, he decided he needed some liquid courage to watch the hideously violent film (he really didn’t like gory films). When he went to the refrigerator, the beer was gone.”
Why? Who drank it? Him?
“No, the beer was one of six twelve packs polished off at the poker party the evening before. The poker party, by the way, was something Jim and his friends had put together a year before. Instead of playing for money, they put a ‘Fear Factor’ spin on it. Hence the watermelon, hence Cannibal Holocaust. Hence no beer. Jim decided he’d have to go buy some, so he went to the store.”
In what? A car, a truck a van?
“Beat up ten-speed bicycle. He lost the car a few months earlier in a similar poker game. (Yes, Jim has a gambling problem.) So he takes off on his ten speed, to buy some beer. It’s the middle of the night, but the 7-11 isn’t far. However, just as he’s about to turn off his street, he hears a blood curdling scream and a naked woman bursts out of the house on the corner and races across the lawn. A man runs after her, wielding a hatchet…”
And so on. It’s a silly exercise, but it almost never fails. The key is to try and go left when you’d normally go right. Lots of sudden ninety-degree angles and improbability. I swear, it’s like WD 40 for the mind.
Of course, we never get to find out what happened to Jim. Did he save the girl? Did he shrug and cycle on? If we want to get complex about it, maybe this is what happens:
“Jim leaps off his bike and gives chase to the man with the hatchet, but gets there too late to save the girl. The hatchet gets buried in her skull twice before Jim manages to tackle the bad guy. A brutal fight ensues, a violent, desperate, knock-down drag-out . Jim is at the losing end, being strangled to death, when his grasping hand finds the handle of the hatchet. He grips it hard, yanks it out of the poor girl’s head, and chops at the bad guy, again and again, lost in his own hysteria, fury, and desperation. When the police arrive, they find him there, hatchet in hand, wild-eyed, standing above two dead bodies.
The cops, of course, end up assuming he was the original assailant, and he is arrested. No evidence to the contrary is found, and Jim goes to death row – all because he went out to buy some beer. He never does get to watch Cannibal Holocaust. He never gambles again.”
Try it sometime. Give yourself a license to imagine the ridiculous or the strange or whatever, without censor, and see if helps.
A final one, in honor of it being Halloween:
Once upon a time, two kids came to my door for Halloween Candy. They came alone, and they were never seen again. The very next day, the dirt in the crawl space of my basement was freshly turned, so freshly turned.
Are these two things related?
I don’t know. I truly don’t. I can’t remember.
But my fingernails are dirty, so dirty, and I am… I am…
So happy.
Happy Halloween and happy reading.
posted by Cody McFadyen at
1:55 PM
4 Comments:
Man, no wonder u have no comments, gotta jump thru hoops. So I did, because I wanted 2 tell u what a fabulous writer I think u are. I get audio books from the library & am usually disappointed. Face of Death is the 1st of ur books I have listened to. Am about half way thru, gory, but so well written. Thank you.
Patsy Rotondo
pitypatty5@hotmail.com
I replied to you last year when I asked why you spent so much time in your last book re-describing characters. I thought it was a bit to much. However, in your current book, you've done if brilliantly. You are by far one of my favorite authors and because of you, I can't go to bed because I can't put your books down! My buddy and I just got done saying "Cody has to have a background in criminology, and or a degree in psychology". Website developer? WOW, who would of guessed. Every single character in your books are memorable. That to me is one of the most important aspects of writing. If you don't care about the characters, it doesn't matter how good the book is. Thank you for my sleepiness nights! Keep up the GREAT work. Christian W.
It's the middle of February! Where are you?!? I can only hope you are so engrossed in writing your new thriller that there's no time for much else. :)
Patsy, thanks so much for your kind words. Sorry I suck and took so long to reply!
Christian, I'm glad you liked the current version of 'recap.' It's tough to get right and people rarely agree on whether you did or you didn't. Thing is, I have to do it because each book in a series could be the first one somebody reads. And no, no degrees, just the ability to read and read and read... :)
Joy - Yeah, I know. Yes, I'm alive. It's been writing and family business. Turns out when you live near your family they expect you to DO stuff. Heh. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home